“Although the road is never ending, take a step and keep walking. Do not look fearfully into the distance. On this path let the heart be your guide, for the body is hesitant and full of fear”. Rumi
In individual therapy we contract together to work towards your own goals, where you know what issues are causing you distress or needing change and my role is to facilitate that change for you in the context of a trusting, honest, accepting and non-judgmental relationship. The focus is on the relationship itself as a therapeutic factor, although I might use specific techniques that will enable you to find the right working distance from your emotions.
Sometimes our work will involve discovering the systems of self-protection you had developed to survive damaging situations earlier in life, which are in the present limiting your functioning and causing you distress. The therapeutic process is likely to bring these systems of self-protection in action and it is my role as a counsellor to enable you, through the quality of my presence and the various techniques, to notice them and once you’ve seen how they are inhibiting your life, to support you in letting them go.
Through the counselling relationship, however, you are no longer isolated socially and emotionally, and your fear is likely to diminish as your trust increases; when you are no longer afraid, you can face the difficulty that up until then had denied. Your feelings becomes less threatening and more accessible. Becoming more familiar with your feelings will enable you to pay attention to what is important to you and what you need to do in order to support yourself.
As you are beginning to support yourself by trusting your own valuing process, your need for me as the therapist becomes lessened. At this point you may still have much to do to reshape your life but the core of self-acceptance is established and the change is irreversible.